Happy New Year! I felt like I needed a moment before I leapt into my blog again and here we are, a week into 2024 already. As with every new year, the Christmas clean up has happened, the house is back to normal, the happy memories are filed under F for Fabulous and now it’s time to get those Resolutions working on overtime for us.
Must work out, must lose weight, must make more money, must konnect more with family and friends, must keep house cleaner, must write that Opus, must get a hole-in-one…
It's not unusual for many of us to sit down with our best of intentions, stalwart and resolute, see what I did there? Resolute…resolutions? Yup, I’ll be here all week folks. We write down our goals, design vision boards, choose a word for the year, get the books, listen to the podcasts and are determined to have our best year yet dang it!
If living the 5am life is for you, have at her. If setting timelines and parameters and schedules keep you motivated and moving forward then keep on truckin’. If making promises to yourself gives you the impetus to get on the band wagon, then play it for all it’s worth. That’s what they are meant to do…until they don’t.
That’s what happened to me. Every single year I fell hook, line and sinker into the Resolution River riding the rapids of change. I'd make all those promises and then I'd break most of them, again and again and again. It was the old do the same thing and expect a different outcome insanity and I know I'm not insane. I also know I used the same excuses to justify the non-outcomes; it's too hard, it takes too long, it's boring, it's not how I thought it would be. Waah, waah, waah….
FORBES.COM just came out with a new report on Resolution statistics and suffice it to say, our staying power as humans who make and then break promises to ourselves is sadly, somewhat pathetic. Sticking to our guns after 12 months comes in at a whopping 6%, not exactly marks for the honour roll.
Why do we have such trouble fulfilling our resolutions? I suspect there are a number of reasons. My two cents says I think some of us feel an underlying pressure to make them, as though there is something wrong with us if we don't. There seems to be a self-imposed guilt that creeps over us if we are not following the majority. Perhaps it's the old FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that's rearing it's fearful head or could it be a few too many carbonated beverages leading up to the midnight mayhem that creates the need to commit?
Experts say we don’t keep them because we create resolutions that are just too big and unrealistic. We make too many of them and we just aren’t ready for the sweeping changes we’ve imposed on ourselves. Just as a baby rolls over, then crawls, then walks, then runs, that is how, in the realm of resolutions, we are to proceed, one baby step at a time.
It is also recommended that we make only a couple of resolutions that are manageable and they need not be grandiose either. I mean sure, you can write a book but it’s not going to be written in a day, published in two and selling off the shelves in three. Were that the truth I’d be a prolific novelist writing this from my Tuscan villa…or my Arizona golf side pool and bar, or my 16th century Lisbon apartment or my Hawaiian Lanai. All lofty goals and really not unrealistic but, one blog and one book at a time right?
I’ve bubbled my way through many New Years and one thing I am sure of now is that I’m not popping anymore corks followed by “this years resolutions will be…” I no longer make resolutions because I refuse to make promises I may not be able to keep. I refuse to find myself three months into a new year drowning in the Resolution River, having slipped on the rocks, going under, gasping for air and feeling like a failure because I didn’t’ succeed, disappointed in myself because I didn’t accomplish what I set out to do.
This year I posted on my social media the things that I’m excited about for the year ahead. Here is a little of what I wrote (amended):
I’m excited for this leap year and leaping into creating some new artwork, personally and professionally for my store products. I’m excited at the prospect of collaborating on a project with my drawing..
I’m excited to write more on my blog, grow my readership and delve more into submitting articles and stories for publication.
I’m excited to create new and healthy actions that will serve my body well and hopefully take at least five strokes off my golf game.
I’m excited for my/our 40th Anniversary! I say that with a moment of incredulity attached.
I’m excited for a European vacation with amazing friends and a family vacation long spoken of but never realized. Two vacays in one year? Yes please!
I'm exciting for an extra day this year so that we have one more to enjoy, to celebrate and to get excited about.
Replacing resolutions with exciting possibilities just feels good. It feels less like a duty or a burden and more like what life should feel like. When we let go of our self-expectations and what we think others expect of us we let go of the I Musts and I Shoulds.
It’s no longer “I have to” but now it’s “I get to” or “maybe I will, maybe I won’t.”
There is a freedom in the realization of that.
Life doesn’t have to be a highlight reel of high octane excitement either. For many, exciting things can be planting a new garden. Having friends from out of town come for a visit. Discovering new places to walk. Reading that book that you’ve been meaning to get to. Baking the most delicious cheese cake or perfecting a perfect peanut sauce. Changing up the hairstyle. Skating on an outdoor pond for the first time. Taking a road trip to watch your fav ball team and eat some stadium fare.
We don’t have to roar our way into the year. We can sit quietly and float along the currents, taking in moments and making memories of them. We can dip our fingers into the water, just to check the temperature and contemplate putting in our whole hand. We can turn the music to quiet instrumental piano and tinkle away at our work as the musician tinkles away at theirs. We can sit with a purring cat on our lap, sip our tea and taste the real butter baked into that delicious shortbread.
Resolutions can be great but, if they don’t work for you why not change things up this year? Why not get excited about the things that are about to come and the moments that you are already in. Instead of creating resolutions that may not be fulfilled, alter the course. You can leap into that raft with both feet and ride the Resolution Rapids, hang on for dear life and hope they all come out the way you wish or you can step in gently and head the other way, silently excited for what lies ahead. You know, whatever floats your boat.
Love Kiki
xoxo
"I think I'm greedy but, I'm not greedy for money. I am greedy for an exciting life."
-- David Hockney
HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2024!!!
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