For those of you who don’t know or are too young to understand this title, the catchphrase, Can We Talk, was made popular by a famous comedienne, Joan Rivers, who took the world of comedy by storm after appearing on the Johnny Carson show in 1965. Her strong Brooklyn accent was an integral part of her appeal and when she asked her audience “can we talk?“ it came out sounding like can we "tawk?" I mean, fuhgeddaboudit isn’t the only New York phrase many of us know and love.
Hubby and I saw Joan Rivers on stage in Las Vegas in 1984. She was dang funny, bold and brash, bawdy and irreverent. She never held back and she tawked about everything. It fascinated me that a woman could be so outspoken, so unabashedly impudent and get paid for it no less. Her following was immense and perhaps her disquieting and dare I say scandalous brand of humour may have been exactly what people were looking for or even needed at the time. She had a no topic is off topic policy and literally nothing was left on the table. I have a sneaking suspicion that were Ms. Rivers on stage today Cancel Culture would have her cancelled tout suite, based on her perceived lack of culture…I could be wrong but you know, whadeva.
Obviously, Ms. Rivers wasn’t the first female comedienne to make it to the big stage and screen but, I believe no other female comedienne had the undeniable ability to make us laugh out loud while simultaneously cringing our way through subjects that were considered taboo for the time. Abortion, sex, pregnancy, marital affairs, the Holocaust, plastic surgery, everything that was verboten was fair game for Joan. She was self-deprecating. She observed celebrities and politicians with a caustic view and she stood unapologetically in defence of her performances. She was a pioneer in the industry, a woman of conviction and for some, a difficult pill to swallow. She talked about what was on her mind and what was on your mind, without you having to utter a word. She had questions and more often than not she answered her own questions with her own jokes. She was, in a word or three, one-of-a-kind!
I myself am fairly outspoken. I stand up for things I believe in. I have strong convictions, beliefs and opinions. I question, I discuss, I argue, I shake my head when I don’t understand and nod my head when I do. I also have a fairly open mind and am willing to hear and consider and respect an opinion and a voice that differs from mine. I know I would never have the chutzpa to do what Joan did but I also know this, her speaking up and speaking out and talking to people as she did, her comedic timing, using her own life’s experience as the base of her jokes, warts and all, was her way of using her voice and being heard. She made jokes that were rude, that were often polarizing, hurtful and shocking, and yet that didn’t keep her from delivering them or her audiences from consuming them. That was Joan Rivers, that was her brand, her essence, that’s who she was. Whether we liked it or not she was not going anywhere and not backing down and that’s what made her stand up, literally and figuratively. Joan Rivers really was a “Piece of Work,” which was another of her famous sayings and the title of the 2010 documentary about her life.
So, where am I going with all of this? Joan found her voice, her fame and her infamy through her unusual style of comedy, through having the cojones to speak her mind and use her voice unapologetically. She didn’t allow the naysayers and offended to stifle her. We too can find our own voice and not be afraid to speak our truth. There is always two voices in our heads and so often we listen to the voice that tends to scare us and keep us from saying or doing what we truly want to. It's a fear that messes with our minds and silences our voice. It’s the fear of Backlash, of being called out, of being disliked, of being cancelled.
There are always going to be those who don’t like what we say or how we say it. Backlash is real and powerful and even scary, but here’s the thing, no matter how uncomfortable or truly awful it may be, it is not our problem, it’s theirs, the people who are creating it. Opinions, advice, comments, constructive criticism, those are the responses we should welcome and pay attention to and grow better from. Hateful comments, name-calling, foul language, threats, those are the comments we must ignore and move on from. We can have a hundred positive responses and yet, that one negative one is the one we let consume us and the one we respond to. Let's not allow that to happen. We have to do the work to let them go. We have to keep on tawking with that voice that is distinctly our own. Let’s voice intelligent and constructive narratives, lets widen horizons, let’s impart wisdom and perspective and let’s remember, our voice is as relevant and as important as anyone else’s. We can't allow negativity and ignorance stop us from expressing ourselves and having our own space in the collective.
Today, as I write this, ACTRA AND SAG-AFTRA (the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists and the Screen Actors Guild and American Federation of Television and Radio Artists) have walked out on strike in support of the WRITERS GUILD OF AMERICA, who went out on strike earlier this year. I won’t get into the details of it here but suffice it to say it is the biggest entertainment industry walk out in 43 years. (If you would like to know more head over to your favourite news media outlet.)
This strike is a perfect example of people who are using their voices to bring attention to inequities that are affecting tens of thousands of people in their industry. Those voices we hear are speaking from professional and personal experience. Those voices speak for those who are trying to be heard but are not because they don’t have a significant enough platform. Those voices speak for those who are the backbone of the industry, who without them, there would be no movies, no TV shows, no series, no theatre. Those voices speak from history, from what has come before them and from the frustration and concern of not knowing what they are working for in the future. Those voices are speaking up and speaking out to help create better lives and better livelihoods because everyone deserves better.
That is the power in using your voice. In making yourself heard or having others heard through you. Whether you speak from your blog on the internet that only three people read, or from a stage to an audience of ten thousand, or from a platform on social media that reaches millions around the globe, you have a voice that someone will hear and konnect with. Use that voice in your writing, use it when speaking, use it in your joke telling, (I have no doubt Ms. Rivers would have had something to say about this latest strike) and please, don’t be a piece of work, just make sure you use it well.
Love Kiki
xoxo
”I wish I could tell you it get’s better. It doesn’t get better. You get better.” -
Joan Rivers
If you haven’t watched The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel I highly recommend it. There is a heavy influence based on Joan Rivers’s life story, even down to her connection with Lenny Bruce, who Joan Rivers said changed her life.
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